No. Nada. Never.

Just 100% olive juice, filtered and bottled. No chemicals, no blending, no compromise.

Not certified. But beyond compliant.

We follow organic practices by principle – no pesticides, no shortcuts. Only our White Edition is officially certified. The others? Cleaner than most “bio” oils — not organic. but organic.

We don’t mass-produce. We craft.

Early harvest. Cold extraction. Family-run. Filtered for shelf life – not for soullessness.

Every bottle is a statement – and a rebellion against boring oil.

Want to see the lineup? → Explore all formulations

Greece. The real part.

Our Koroneiki olives grow in the hills around Krestena and near the Ionian Sea in Skafidia.

Hand-harvested with care, dropped into small 20 kg crates, immediately cooled in a refrigerated truck – and always pressed within 12 hours. No sacks. No shortcuts. Just serious freshness from grove to oil.

If stored right, your oil stays potent for at least 18 months. But truth is: flavor starts fading the moment oxygen joins the ritual.

How to store it?

Cool. Dark. Upright.

Think wine cellar – not windowsill.

Avoid heat, light, and air – they’re the sworn enemies of good oil.

We want you to love what you pour. If something’s wrong, we’ll make it right.

Unopened bottles can be returned within 14 days. But first – contact us.

Food safety matters. Opened bottles? Let’s talk. We’re human, not rigid.

Just email care@crazypharmacist.eu with your order number.

No forms. No bots. Just fairness.

Refunds usually arrive within 3–5 business days after confirmation.

We wrap like pros. But couriers aren’t priests.

If your bottle shows up cracked, leaking, or cursed – send us a photo.

You’ll get a new one. No drama.

If it’s our mistake – no.

If you just changed your mind – fair’s fair, you cover the return.

We ship EU-wide via DHL.

Other countries? Just ask.

For prices, delivery times, and options:

→ Access the Δ–Logistics Console

Most major cards. PayPal. Bank transfer (for the old-schoolers). No crypto. Yet.

→ Because the system takes all valid tokens.

Only if it hasn’t shipped. Write us right away – we’ll try.

→ Once it’s moving, it’s moving. That’s protocol.

It’s automatic. You’ll get it by email after purchase.

Need a formal version? Just ask. We keep it clean.

Cards glitch. Limits reset. Try again or use a different method.

→ No shame. The system doesn’t judge.

Only if you’ve earned it.

Newsletter subscribers, loyalists, and fellow rebels sometimes get codes. If you’ve got one, use it. That’s access.

Yes. Encrypted. Protected. Never stored in full.

We use Stripe, PayPal, and Revolut.

→ We make olive oil. Not excuses.

Only when the system opens access.

→ Join the list. Watch the feed. It’s first come, full ritual.

GDPR means: You’re in control. Your data. Your rules.

→ Access. Edit. Delete. No bureaucracy. No fine print.

Use our data management form – it’s always open.

We process all requests in full compliance with EU law.

Unsubscribe anytime. One click. No questions.

We only send what matters. No spam. No pressure.

Check our live Cookie Table. It lists all cookies, their purpose, and expiry – including services like Google or Meta.

Christos Kokkalis. Winemaker, pharmacist, visionary. He broke the rules, chased perfection, and left behind a legacy we now bottle – literally. He’s no longer with us, but his spirit drives everything we do.

Apothecary meets rebellion. Each label tells a story – designed by Bulgarian artist Marina Simeonova, with a wild mind and a sharp pen.

Between a banker, a car guy, and a winemaker – in Greece, with dusty boots and a stubborn dream. We didn’t want to mass-produce oil. We wanted to create something real, honest, small-batch. Like craft beer – but smoother.

We don’t chase the seal. We chase the standard. All oils follow organic principles – no pesticides, no shortcuts. Certified or not.

Yes. One harvest. One grove. One log. Each batch is limited by nature, not marketing.

No mass suppliers. Just neighbors and friends who’ve harvested olives for generations. Local. Loyal. Ours.”

Short ways. Small crates. Zero waste. We harvest only what we can press within hours. Shipping is carbon-neutral. Premium shouldn’t cost the planet.

Not yet. But we’re testing. Until then: reuse the bottles. Or collect them – they age better than most NFTs.

Very few go to waste. If a bottle returns, we drink it. Or we throw a little oil fest. Quality deserves joy, not a landfill.

A cultic subscription protocol. You receive 2 bottles of your chosen oil – every 4 or 8 weeks. From your second shipment onward: free shipping. The ritual is active in the EU only. Your formula. Your rhythm. Locked into system time.

All Craft Line formulas: Evil Sis. Holy Sis. Beautiful Helena. No swaps. No surprises. White Edition as well. Black Edition remains off-script. Rituals require stability.

Our Control Panel is still under observation. For now: send your signal to care@crazypharmacist.eu. We’ll decode it and adjust your ritual manually.

Easy: just send a signal before your next cycle renews. care@crazypharmacist.eu handles cancellations, pauses, and payment rituals. Once a cycle begins, the ritual proceeds as planned.

The ritual stops. No retries. No hidden fees. You’ll receive a signal with instructions to restart – but the cycle resets. Subscription benefits are paused until reactivation.